Stunningly Awful Demo Phrases

Here are a handful of phrases that we often hear from software vendors in demo meetings, followed by what the customer thinks in response…

Vendor Says: “Let me tell you a bit about our company…”
Customer Thinks: Nope, no need to – we wouldn’t have agreed to invest our time in a demo if we
didn’t already know about you…

Vendor Says: “Let me give you a product overview…”
Customer Thinks: Is this for our sake or yours? Which of these products are relevant to us and our
specific situation?

Vendor Says: “And we’ve just re-named our products, as follows…”
Customer Thinks: Oh joy, more useless things to remember…

Vendor Says: “And we’ve created some product bundles as well – let me share these with you…”
Customer Thinks: Why? Am I doing proof-reading for your marketing department?

Vendor Says: “Let’s go through a day-in-the-life…”
Customer Thinks: Oh god, no. My day is painful enough already, why would you want to walk me
through it again?

Vendor Says: “So we’ve created seven fictional characters for this demo: Mark the manager, Angie in
accounting, Isaac in IT, Candace the CFO, Oscar in operations, Eustace the end-user…”
Customer Thinks: Wait – you want me to remember each of these names and their roles? I don’t even
know all of the folks in my own department…!

Vendor Says: “Let me show you how the navigation works…”
Customer Thinks: Will this be on the test?

Vendor Says: “One of the questions I get a lot is…”
Customer Thinks: Sure, but did WE ask it?

Vendor Says: “The other question is…”
Customer Thinks: Ditto…

Vendor Says: “And this is really important…”
Customer Thinks: Thanks – good to know what YOU think is important, as opposed to us…
Vendor Says: “Another really important thing is…”
Customer Thinks: Sounds like everything in your software is important – which means that none of it
is…

Vendor Says: “The other nice thing…”
Customer Thinks: How many nice things are there?

Vendor Says: “Oh, and this is really cool…”
Customer Thinks: In whose opinion?

Vendor Says: “Now, if you want to…”
Customer Thinks: But what if I don’t?

Vendor Says: “Or, you can also do this by…”
Customer Thinks: Please just show me the fastest way to get it done…

Vendor Says: “There are three ways you can do this – let me show you…”
Customer Thinks: Will these be on the test? Please just show me the one fastest way that I’d use in my
day-to-day work.

Vendor Says: “Let me show you how to…”
Customer Thinks: Did I ask? Do I care? Am I interested?

Vendor Says: “What we call…”
Customer Thinks: Who cares what YOU call it? I’ll never remember those terms anyway.
Vendor Says: “Gee, I’ve never seen that happen before…”
Customer Thinks: We have… All the time!

Vendor Says: “Let me try that again…”
Customer Thinks: So that you can prove that it REALLY doesn’t work and you, the technical expert,
don’t know it?

Vendor Says: “In our next release due next year this should work much better…”
Customer Thinks: Great, then I’ll hold off buying until the next release comes out next year.

Vendor Says: “Remember when I said….”
Customer Thinks: Nope

Vendor Says: “Let me show you what happens behind the scenes…”
Customer Thinks: Did I ask? Do I care? Am I interested? I like sausage, but I’m not really interested in
seeing how it was made…!

Vendor Says: “Let me explain how this works…”
Customer Thinks: Did I ask? Do I care? Am I interested?

Vendor Says: “To be honest…”
Customer Thinks: Wait a minute – so everything up through now has been a lie?

Vendor Says: “To make a long story short… ”
Customer Thinks: Too late…!

Vendor Says: “Now don’t take this the wrong way…”
Customer Thinks: Too late again…!

Vendor Says: “One of the neat things that I like is…”
Customer Thinks: Glad you like it; I could care less…

Vendor Says: “That’s a great question…”
Customer Thinks: Oh, so my others questions were stupid?

Vendor Says: “So, when you sort of pull up this chart, you can kind of see your team’s performance,
you know?”
Customer thinks: Sort of? Kind of? Don’t worry, my check to pay for the software will sort of, kind of
be good, you know?

Vendor Says: “Oh – one more thing I want to show you…”
Customer Thinks: One more? How long will this go on?

Vendor Says: “We’re running short on time, so I’ll have to go really fast, but I want this to beinteractive, so stop me if you have any questions…”
Customer Thinks: Oh god no – the run-on demo…!

Vendor Says: “Oops – looks like we ran out of time before we got to the best stuff…”
Customer Thinks: Too bad – looks like we won’t ever see your best stuff…

Vendor Says: “I’ve saved the best for last…”
Customer Thinks: When our management team is gone and the rest of our brains are mush… Why
didn’t you Do the Last Thing First?

[Shameless Self-Promotion Note:]
This Vendor Says: “We share how to avoid these phrases (and the resulting outcomes) in Great Demo!
Workshops – and present (much more productive) alternatives…”
You, Dear Customer, Think: Great – I’ll sign up…!

[With thanks to the many contributors from the Great Demo! Community…!]